August 21, 2013 6:44 pm
Hit puberty? Time to get LinkedIn
It is no longer enough to stress over exams, you must have the right connections and outside interests
You are, it seems, never too young to be thinking of that next career move.LinkedIn is opening itself up to students as young as 13 or 14. That’s right, baby – if you’ve hit puberty, it’s time to start networking.
This is the terrible tide heading towards existing LinkedIn users. The ranks of all the people you don’t know who are already trying to connect with you on LinkedIn are about to be swelled by Cynthia from year nine, who recently endorsed Harry Styles as “well fit”, and Darren, who has just dropped geography. John has added falsifying sick notes to his skill set; while those connected with Steve, who has just left junior high, will be pleased to know that he’s just blown away his thousandth cop on Grand Theft Auto.
Except, of course, it won’t be like that because this would at least be normal. What LinkedIn is promising by opening its arms to the hormonal and acne-riddled ranks of the world’s teenagers is something utterly and miserably aberrant.
For the careers site is about to become populated with the harassed spawn of the world’s tiger mums, urged on to acquire skills that can be added to their career page (does a cycling proficiency certificate count?) and researching and connecting with CEOs and execs who had the misfortune to have once gone to the same school. (How long will it be before even the most abiding affection for one’s old alma mater wilts under the deluge of connection requests?) While other adolescents are on Facebook and WhatsApp, planning their first sexual conquests, this cohort will be buffing up their CVs and recording their achievements at the Commerce Club. “Darling, have you done anything on LinkedIn today?” And, worse than that: “If you wouldn’t put it on LinkedIn, why are you doing it?”
We may no longer be sending children up chimneys but, in LinkedIn’s world view, they will spend their adolescence optimising their dexterity with the long-handled brush for the day when they might secure that first prized internship with a master sweep.
That LinkedIn would target older students is understandable. The site’s marketing for the new service is very much aimed at students planning their college choices. It is launching university pages that, among other things, detail the career paths of alumni. Older schoolchildren may well be motivated enough to be seeking internships and burnishing the credentials that might set them apart from the wider mass. The fact that it will open the door at 13 or 14 does not mean it expects a flood of people that young.
What is clear, however, is that LinkedIn is run by very smart people who do not take these decisions in a haphazard way. What is depressing is not just that LinkedIn thinks people as young as 13 will respond to the opportunity, but that it is probably right. One has only to think of the competitive parents at the school gate to imagine how this might snowball: “Your friend David’s already got his own LinkedIn page.” And there is value in building a CV. To you and me, he may have had a paper round, but on his profile page he’s already got a year’s experience in distribution.
The hothousing of children, especially among the educated middle-class, is becoming ever more acute. As we look to a future where the best jobs are both more scarce and more fiercely competitive, anxious parents are ratcheting up the pressure. It is no longer enough to stress over entrance examinations, SATs and examination grades. Now there are the right kind of outside interests, voluntary work, early internships and anything that shows the motivation that might separate you from the crowd. And, by entrenching the power of networks, alumni and active parents, it will narrow rather than broaden the opportunities available to those foolish enough to have ill-connected relatives or attend unfashionable schools.
It is not hard to foresee the outcome if the message – subliminal or otherwise – is that, though the cool kids may be on Facebook, the smart ones are on LinkedIn.
Western societies may not be forcing children into the factories but the world of work is intruding on them at ever earlier ages. LinkedIn deals in the world of work – so the earlier that happens, the happier LinkedIn will be.
But joining LinkedIn at 13 is taking a step towards that world where you worry about making contacts when you should still be in the business of making friends.
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